Walking in Circles: Learning to Trust Miko’s Timeline

There are a lot of things nobody tells you about raising an autistic child. One of them is how much patience it takes to watch your child grow, especially when progress doesn't always look the way you expected it to.

When I first started taking Miko to the park, we spent the first few weeks doing the same thing every time. We swung.

That was our routine. We went to the swings, got settled, and enjoyed our time there. Then, a few weeks later, he decided he was over the swings and wanted to ride the merry-go-round instead.

So, that's what we did.

Miko would climb on, and I would walk around and around the merry-go-round to keep the same steady rhythm going for him. Lap after lap, I walked in circles while he enjoyed the ride. For a few weeks, that was our thing.

And then, something changed.

Miko started running to the park. He was climbing on everything, jumping, dancing, and playing. He wanted to explore, move around, and try different things. The same child who had spent weeks enjoying the swings and merry-go-round was now interested in everything the park had to offer.

It was such a simple thing to witness, but it reminded me of something I've been learning about navigating autism in general.

Sometimes, it feels like you're walking in circles.

You practice the same skills. You follow the same routines. You keep showing up and creating opportunities for your child to learn and explore. And sometimes, it can feel like you're doing the same things over and over again without knowing whether anything is changing.

Then, one day, your child does something new. They learn a skill, try something they weren't interested in before, communicate in a new way, or reach a milestone you've been waiting for.

And you're reminded that growth doesn't always happen on a schedule you can predict.

I've had to learn that I can't always determine when Miko will be ready for something new. I can offer opportunities, provide support, and encourage him to explore, but I can't decide when something will click for him.

And honestly, learning to be comfortable with that has been a process.

As parents, we want to see our children develop new skills. We want to know that the things we're doing to support them are helping. When you're navigating autism, there can be so much focus on developmental milestones, therapies, and all the things your child may need to learn or work toward. It's easy to get caught up in thinking about what's next.

Sometimes, I have to remind myself to pay attention to what's happening right now.

Miko enjoyed swinging. He enjoyed riding the merry-go-round. Those experiences mattered, too. They didn't become less valuable just because he eventually became interested in other things.

I don't know exactly what led him to explore the park differently. Maybe he became more comfortable with the environment. Maybe his interests changed. Maybe he was ready to try something new.

Whatever the reason, I got to witness that change, and it reminded me that I don't always need to know when or how progress will happen to appreciate it when it does.

I also think there's something important about allowing our children to enjoy where they are without constantly looking ahead to where we hope they'll be.

That doesn't mean we stop supporting their development or advocating for the resources they need. It means we can do those things while still making room for them to be children. We can work toward new skills without treating every moment as an opportunity to practice something. We can celebrate milestones without making them the only measure of progress.

Our children deserve to experience joy in the present, too. And we deserve to enjoy them there.

I know that navigating autism can bring a lot of uncertainty. There are questions about development, communication, independence, and what the future might look like. There are days when you wonder whether you're doing enough or whether you should be trying something different.

I don't have all the answers. I'm still learning alongside Miko, and I'm learning that sometimes the best thing I can do is follow his lead, pay attention to what interests him, and give him the support he needs to explore the world in his own way.

Because his timeline is his own.

And in their own time is a beautiful way of existing.

I think about those first few weeks at the park sometimes. If I'd been focused only on what Miko wasn't doing yet, I might have missed how much joy he was finding in those simple routines. I might have spent our time wondering when he would move on to something else instead of enjoying what we were doing together.

I'm glad I got to experience those moments for what they were.

The swings. The merry-go-round. All those laps walking in circles.

And now, watching him run ahead, climb, jump, dance, and explore.

I'm learning that growth doesn't always announce itself. Sometimes, it happens quietly. Sometimes, it takes longer than we expect. And sometimes, it surprises us when we're busy doing the same thing we've done a hundred times before.

So, we'll keep going to the park. We'll keep trying new things, enjoying familiar ones, and figuring things out as we go.

I'll keep supporting Miko as he develops new skills, and I'll keep reminding myself that he doesn't have to reach every milestone on my timeline for his life to be full of possibility.

Sometimes, we're walking in circles. Sometimes, we're making progress we can't quite see yet. And sometimes, our children show us something new that reminds us why it's worth continuing to show up.

I'm learning to trust the process, even when I can't see what's coming next.

And if that means walking in circles around a merry-go-round for a few more weeks, I suppose I'd better get my steps in.

We'll keep learning as we go.

That's what growing together looks like.